Put on a Happy Face

Have you ever heard that the simple act of smiling makes you not only look happier, but actually makes you sound happier too? Well, I'm here to tell you that it's true. It was recently brought to my attention that lately I've come off, well, negative. That was a surprise to me. I'm usually the first person to laugh (loudly I might add) at any light-hearted or comedic situation. However, in thinking back, I can see where that perception would come from. If I'm honest, I haven't been too happy lately. So, I'm guessing I haven't been smiling too often. I was given the advice that I should basically "fake the funk." So today I decided to give it a try. My mother would be so proud of my superb acting skills that I learned from my otherwise useless Theater major. Surprisingly, it worked. I burst into the office and gave the cheeriest morning ever. My colleagues were perplexed to say the least, but it did make them smile. I've since been the very definition of chipper all day. And you know what? I feel better than I did before I stepped foot into the office. My interactions with people have been better, my spirit is better, and it all started with a simple smile. So go out there, and put on that happy face. You'll be glad you did.

Meeting of the Minds

This may be a mistake to admit, but I sometimes sit in large group meetings and rather than pay attention to what is being said, I find myself marveling at the cult of personalities. What do I mean by that? Well, it seems that in every meeting there are definite types.

The "shrinking violet" - the one that wishes no one could see them and if they could crawl into a corner they would. They're the equivalent to the kid that would sweat bullets when the teacher called on them in class. Obviously, they generally add very little value to the meeting, unless they are smart enough to be note takers...which is the dream role of a "shrinking violet."

The "distracter" - the person that only contributes information that has absolutely no worth whatsoever. It's like they can't help but spout out the most bizarre and pointless statements...only adding to the already longer than necessary meeting.

The "jokester" - the name sort of tells it all, but this person can't help but make self-deprecating jokes in order to ingratiate themselves to the group. Sometimes this works but often it's just distracting and sometimes a little sad. If a "distracter" and a "jokester" are in the same meeting, you might as well just resign yourself to a marathon of a meeting where, unsurprisingly enough, not much has been accomplished.

The "over contributor" - this person seems to LOVE the sound of his or her own voice. They can't miss an opportunity to share their point of view with anyone and everyone that will listen. This person LIVES for meetings. Often they withhold information just so they can set a meeting so everyone can hear how brilliant they are. Meetings are this person's favorite time during the work week.

The "conductor" - this person desperately wants to keep the meeting on track and you will hear constant sighs or see frequent thinly disguised eye rolls whenever a "distracter" or "jokester" speaks. If this person can somehow rein everyone in and get the meeting down to under one hour, they will feel like they've just ran a marathon and came out on top. A well-run, and succinct meeting will make this person's day.

The "idea killer" (also known as a buzz kill) - this is the person that gets great joy out of bashing others ideas, but often has nothing to add in return. They just like the word "no" or the phrase "won't work." They are meeting bullies. Beware, they are not fun to have around. Creativity is the first to go when they arrive. If there's an "over contributer" and an "idea killer" in the same meeting, there might be blood.

Now don't get me wrong, there are several types of people that are great in meetings, such as the "idea champion", someone who finds possibility in most ideas contributed. But these folks are just not as much fun to blog about.

Now, go enjoy that meeting you have in 5 minutes.

Everyone is Paranoid

Or is it just me? Seriously, as a people, at some point we assume that the person whispering nearby is talking about them. I think that is where most office gossip stems from...not from what people are actually saying, but from what people THINK people are saying about them at work.

Ever notice the times when you walk by, and the people chatting just happen to stop their conversation? That couldn't be a {gasp} coincidence. Surely not...they must've been talking about you. There is absolutely no other rational reason for the cease in conversation...except if they were finished with what they were talking about or actually having a private conversation that didn’t include you. Nah, that’s too rational. Your co-workers are definitely out to get you…period.

Does this paranoid feeling mean that many of us are that self-centered? If a person were to answer no to the "noticing people stop talking around them" question, they are either incredibly grounded or obviously oblivious to their surroundings, thus making them even MORE self-centered than the average person.

I think that the majority of problems that people have are the perception of a problem. Sure there are real grievances, but I strongly believe that it all comes from bad communication. Most have assumed that problems stem from lack of communication...but I have to say that it seems definitely more from bad communication or miscommunication, as the case may be.

There is this lovely book called Love Languages. I swear I think this book may have saved my relationship with my boyfriend, who ultimately became my husband. It talks about how some people show and perceive shows of love differently. For example, if your love language is "acts of kindness" that is how you will best receive love from your partner. Basically, if your loved one takes out the garbage without being prodded by you, you may think your partner is the best person in the world, and love them immensely for it. However, if your love language is "gifts" then that same "act of kindness" of taking out the trash may only be perceived as a nice thing to do, and nothing more. The reason is because these two people show and receive love differently...thus they speak two different love languages. Sounds hokey, right? I know, but think about it. It just might save the next argument you have with your partner. You figure out your partner’s love language, and I promise…bliss. At least until your next fight over the remote. There isn't a book for that.

Now take that same "love language" concept to work relationships. If colleagues have different communication styles, boy could that lead to all kinds of problems. Imagine if colleagues immediately, but gently, confronted their co-workers about a miscommunication, think how wonderful the office environment would be. Life is too short to seethe over perceived problems, especially when there are so many real ones to deal with. Often times we just have different communications styles…nothing more, nothing less. Once those communication styles have been identified and acknowledged you'd be surprised how much better (notice I didn't say perfect) your life at work could be. I mean, we are human after all.

But take note; gift-giving is never a bad way to apologize or show you care…even at work. Can you guess my love language?