Or is it just me? Seriously, as a people, at some point we assume that the person whispering nearby is talking about them. I think that is where most office gossip stems from...not from what people are actually saying, but from what people THINK people are saying about them at work.
Ever notice the times when you walk by, and the people chatting just happen to stop their conversation? That couldn't be a {gasp} coincidence. Surely not...they must've been talking about you. There is absolutely no other rational reason for the cease in conversation...except if they were finished with what they were talking about or actually having a private conversation that didn’t include you. Nah, that’s too rational. Your co-workers are definitely out to get you…period.
Does this paranoid feeling mean that many of us are that self-centered? If a person were to answer no to the "noticing people stop talking around them" question, they are either incredibly grounded or obviously oblivious to their surroundings, thus making them even MORE self-centered than the average person.
I think that the majority of problems that people have are the perception of a problem. Sure there are real grievances, but I strongly believe that it all comes from bad communication. Most have assumed that problems stem from lack of communication...but I have to say that it seems definitely more from bad communication or miscommunication, as the case may be.
There is this lovely book called Love Languages. I swear I think this book may have saved my relationship with my boyfriend, who ultimately became my husband. It talks about how some people show and perceive shows of love differently. For example, if your love language is "acts of kindness" that is how you will best receive love from your partner. Basically, if your loved one takes out the garbage without being prodded by you, you may think your partner is the best person in the world, and love them immensely for it. However, if your love language is "gifts" then that same "act of kindness" of taking out the trash may only be perceived as a nice thing to do, and nothing more. The reason is because these two people show and receive love differently...thus they speak two different love languages. Sounds hokey, right? I know, but think about it. It just might save the next argument you have with your partner. You figure out your partner’s love language, and I promise…bliss. At least until your next fight over the remote. There isn't a book for that.
Now take that same "love language" concept to work relationships. If colleagues have different communication styles, boy could that lead to all kinds of problems. Imagine if colleagues immediately, but gently, confronted their co-workers about a miscommunication, think how wonderful the office environment would be. Life is too short to seethe over perceived problems, especially when there are so many real ones to deal with. Often times we just have different communications styles…nothing more, nothing less. Once those communication styles have been identified and acknowledged you'd be surprised how much better (notice I didn't say perfect) your life at work could be. I mean, we are human after all.
But take note; gift-giving is never a bad way to apologize or show you care…even at work. Can you guess my love language?
Ever notice the times when you walk by, and the people chatting just happen to stop their conversation? That couldn't be a {gasp} coincidence. Surely not...they must've been talking about you. There is absolutely no other rational reason for the cease in conversation...except if they were finished with what they were talking about or actually having a private conversation that didn’t include you. Nah, that’s too rational. Your co-workers are definitely out to get you…period.
Does this paranoid feeling mean that many of us are that self-centered? If a person were to answer no to the "noticing people stop talking around them" question, they are either incredibly grounded or obviously oblivious to their surroundings, thus making them even MORE self-centered than the average person.
I think that the majority of problems that people have are the perception of a problem. Sure there are real grievances, but I strongly believe that it all comes from bad communication. Most have assumed that problems stem from lack of communication...but I have to say that it seems definitely more from bad communication or miscommunication, as the case may be.
There is this lovely book called Love Languages. I swear I think this book may have saved my relationship with my boyfriend, who ultimately became my husband. It talks about how some people show and perceive shows of love differently. For example, if your love language is "acts of kindness" that is how you will best receive love from your partner. Basically, if your loved one takes out the garbage without being prodded by you, you may think your partner is the best person in the world, and love them immensely for it. However, if your love language is "gifts" then that same "act of kindness" of taking out the trash may only be perceived as a nice thing to do, and nothing more. The reason is because these two people show and receive love differently...thus they speak two different love languages. Sounds hokey, right? I know, but think about it. It just might save the next argument you have with your partner. You figure out your partner’s love language, and I promise…bliss. At least until your next fight over the remote. There isn't a book for that.
Now take that same "love language" concept to work relationships. If colleagues have different communication styles, boy could that lead to all kinds of problems. Imagine if colleagues immediately, but gently, confronted their co-workers about a miscommunication, think how wonderful the office environment would be. Life is too short to seethe over perceived problems, especially when there are so many real ones to deal with. Often times we just have different communications styles…nothing more, nothing less. Once those communication styles have been identified and acknowledged you'd be surprised how much better (notice I didn't say perfect) your life at work could be. I mean, we are human after all.
But take note; gift-giving is never a bad way to apologize or show you care…even at work. Can you guess my love language?
1 comment:
Everyone is paranoid because everybody thinks they're about to lose their job! lol!
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